Relationship Froth

Response to prompt: Froth.

Dad likes coffee. Black, no sugar, no milk, no froth. He likes the kind of coffee that makes my grandma’s nose wrinkle with disgust, but at least it’s straightforward.

I know people who have missed trains in their attempts to get coffee. They’re not addicted to the caffeine like he is; it doesn’t give them headaches, but they evidently enjoy the luxury of it. Some people nearly go bankrupt enjoying it.

I don’t like coffee or tea. I’m weird that way. People baulk at my distinctly un-British beverage choices.

I think the only time I can recall liking tea was when I was in Morocco. The mint tea they had there was nice. Dad called it sugar solution, which was probably why I liked it; I can’t quite be arsed to try and replicate something that unhealthy though. Most of the time I’m perfectly happy with orange juice or water. Preferably water.

Hot chocolate is a treat. It was what I drank on my first date; it’s the thing I drink when everyone else is having something hot. Sometimes it’s nice. At other times it just tastes like hot water, kind of like tea does. I don’t like cream or marshmallows so I usually get my brother to deal with that part of the concoction.

I guess froth just seems excessive to me. Why ruin a perfectly decent drink with some tasteless foam? Why ruin a perfectly decent life with a relationship that you don’t want?

Okay, I’ll admit, that was a bit of a segue. My brother told me today that dad made a comment about me ditching my one romantic relationship because it got in the way of work. There are several reasons why that frustrates me:

  1. That’s not why I dumped the guy. Yes, I was busy with work, but my primary reason for dumping him was down to the fact that the feelings weren’t mutual. I knew that he was way more into me than I was into him and I didn’t see that changing anytime soon. I felt guilty and it wasn’t fair to either of us. Ergo, dumping was the next logical step forward.
  2. Even if I had dumped him in favour of getting work done, is that really such a bad thing? I’m at university for my degree. I can attend societies, make friends and form relationships, but those are all extras. They mean nothing if I don’t work hard at the academic stuff too. If dad would rather I waste the money he’s spent on me getting this far then, sure, I could do that, but I’d rather not.
  3. I’m 21. Why rush? I’ve got the rest of my life ahead of me. I don’t know where I’m going to end up and have even less of a clue as to who I’ll end up with. Why should I waste my time looking for romance when there’s so much cool stuff out there to do? I’m not in love with anyone right now and I’m doing just fine (even if I wasn’t, getting into a relationship would hardly fix that). Losing my virginity is only one thing on a long list of stuff that I’d like to do. I don’t mind waiting to meet the right person and I’m certainly not going to force myself into stressful dating situations just to satisfy some urge to get it over and done with. Love is not mechanical. You can’t force it. If it’s going to happen it’ll happen naturally, probably when I least expect it, so I might as well do what I actually want to do in the meantime. I’m young. Unless something horrible happens, I’ve got all the time in the world.
  4. I refuse to listen to anything my dad says about relationships. I look back at his midlife crisis (I recently used that comparison to comfort my guitar teacher about entering the middle aged age bracket); I look back at how he’s treated mum, and he is definitely not my role model when it comes to these things. He’s welcome to comment, but I can and will make my own decisions. His approval is a bonus, but I don’t need it. If he decides to say something to my face then I know exactly what I’m going to tell him.

So yeah, I don’t like froth. I don’t like a lot of drinks. I don’t drink alcohol, tea or coffee and that’s my choice to make.

God knows I already make myself take on a lot of stuff that I don’t necessarily like but has to be done; why should I add a completely unnecessary thing to that list? If I’m going to have a relationship I want to enjoy it and I don’t want to have one simply out of a sense of societal or familial obligation. I’ll fall in love when I’m ready, thank you very much, not out of a desperation to be loved.


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